We celebrated my mother’s 91st birthday earlier this month. I hadn’t seen her since June 2014 when we had a big party with family and friends during her 90th year. My sisters tried to prepare me but I was shocked by her condition. Even my sister who last saw her in June of this year said she is much worse.
Her mitral valve replacement from 1998 is failing; it must have been a very healthy pig since it was supposed to last 12 years or so and the average is about 10 years. She is very pale, has very little energy and her memory is not what it once was. Her cardiologist offered to do an extended test to check the valve, but my sister decided the test alone could be a detriment and all my siblings agree. No treatment is possible at her age so why torture her with an invasive test.
I told my brother all we can do for her is to call, tell her the news and brighten her day for a few minutes and expect nothing in return. After only a few words, she is out of breath and can’t speak. She cared for us diligently and lovingly as we grew up; it’s our turn to do what we can without guilt or regret.
The trip to my hometown and staying with family sent me down memory lane. Seeing two of my sisters with their husbands stirred up memories of my marriage and family interaction. I enjoyed seeing everyone but found it all somewhat depressing and have been a mite discontented ever since.
But as in past times, God is faithful to make the future brighter and capture my attention. I am looking forward, buoyed up by the news from my younger son and his wife that they are expecting a baby. This will be my fifth grandchild and praying for a new little one is always inspiring. I may not be satisfied with my health or situation but contentment knowing that God is in control is always my goal. Miss Fixer struggles with choosing to let life unfold as He intends.
I heard an interesting motto last evening, ‘more being, less doing,’ which seems an apt slogan for a perfectionist to adopt in order to enjoy the journey more. “Be still and know that I am God” also draws me into His presence every morning and even now as I write, that song/scripture reverberates in my head, encouraging me that He is in charge and His plan for me is good and best.
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