God has been speaking to my spirit and soul about a lifelong problem: An inappropriate spirit of independence.
My natural personality made its appearance in my life inevitable. The first time I took a personality test, it showed I was large and in charge without much in the way of sympathetic traits. Then there is my first-born status in my family. I realize that my life story has led to my deeply ingrained tendency to separate myself and rely on no one but me other than God.
Learning to let others into my life has been a lifelong task, one I continue to work on. The isolation of covid and moving accentuates my need to choose involvement with community. I believe I am called to a new depth of interaction.
Last weekend, Lisa Harper https://www.lisaharper.org/ shared a message for Gateway Church that exposed a cause of ungodly independence for me. I realized as she spoke and I prayed, that there were many sorrows in my life that I had stuffed down into my soul instead of grieving them in a healthy and godly way. God dealt with many of them at the conclusion of the service. I asked that, if there were any others, He would reveal them that I might grieve fully and be restored.
The danger of ungrieved sorrow is that it can result in hardening of the heart, Lisa shared. I realized that I had built walls around those issues, leading me to stand apart from even loved ones at times to protect my heart from further pain. The older the wall, the more distant my attitude.
Paul wrote to the Corinthians that godly sorrow leads to salvation, and as believers know, salvation leads to the process of sanctification – God changing us from the inside out. That work by His hands continues throughout our earthly life. I am so happy to be a work of His hands and to continue to grow. Anticipating continued growth to openness marks a new pathway for me. Thank you, Lisa Harper, for making a difference in my life and the lives of many.
2 Corinthians 7:10a For godly grief and the pain God is permitted to direct, produce a repentance that leads and contributes to salvation and deliverance from evil, and it never brings regret; Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC) Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation
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