Five year ago, my mother died. She was 91 years old. Today, I’m pondering the lessons I learned from her while she lived and contemplating those I’ve learned since her homegoing.
And it was homegoing. Her love for God was ceaseless by the time her body stopped working. God showed her His love for her in many ways throughout her life and she recognized them and honored Him. Amongst them was the blessing of five children who, as adults, appreciated and delighted in who she was as a person, not just as their mother. We still miss her laughter and love.
Amongst the older lessons is the blessing I now have in letting my sons and their wives be adults and my friends. Mother knew how to let her adult offspring, as she called us, make their own decisions. She gave wisdom and help when asked but never interfered. I am continually blessed by the friendships my siblings, and their spouses, and I have made and lived out, mostly because Mother taught us how to love without being overbearing. I wasn’t always capable of that. My natural personality wants to run the show and be in charge of every room I enter. No more, thank God. I don’t need to be right to be happy. Relationship is more important, I’ve discovered.
My relationships with my daughters-in-love have grown to be incredibly special to me, in part because of Mother’s example. She chose to take her children’s spouses into her heart and loved them unconditionally. Even divorce did not dim her appreciation for those no longer part of her family. My ex-husband sent flowers to her funeral because he always felt she loved and supported him in a way no one else in his life had done before we married. I now talk with my daughters-in-love as often as possible, occasionally more than my sons. Busyness takes its toll at times, but I count them both as dear girlfriends.
Learning how to not complain is a lesson I’m still working on. Mother literally would say “I can’t complain” when asked how she was doing. Only near the end of her life when she became extremely ill did she acknowledge things were not as they should have been. She knew how to tell God her concerns and leave them with Him, a life skill I try to cultivate. Some days I do better than others.
In looking back on Mother’s life, I think I appreciate most her ability to enjoy the day, not live in the past or the future, but just be happy and choose joy. She tried to accomplish tasks in a timely manner but was content to let something go until another day when energy or time failed her.
So, another Mother’s Day approaches without my mother. I miss her but the assurance of her meeting me on the other side of the veil when it’s my turn comforts me. I rejoice in the end of her pain and sorrow and in the prospect of worshipping our God together once more in the life to come. Paul encouraged us all with his words to Titus:
Titus 1:1-4 I, Paul, am God’s slave and Christ’s agent for promoting the faith among God’s chosen people, getting out the accurate word on God and how to respond rightly to it. My aim is to raise hopes by pointing the way to life without end. This is the life God promised long ago—and he doesn’t break promises! And then when the time was ripe, he went public with his truth. I’ve been entrusted to proclaim this Message by order of our Savior, God himself. Dear Titus, legitimate son in the faith: Receive everything God our Father and Jesus our Savior give you! The Message (MSG) Copyright © 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson
You must be logged in to post a comment.