Are you stir-crazy yet? I fight it by staggering my grocery runs. On each trip, I have my sunroof open and Michael McDonald or Blood, Sweat and Tears blasting on my stereo. But I started thinking a couple of days ago about why this isolation is so hard for many of us. I wonder if we do not always know how to love one another the way each of us needs.
Many years ago, a quiz about love languages based on the book by Gary Chapman revealed a lot to me about myself and those I lived with at the time. I learned that telling my then husband what a great dad he made was counterproductive. Hearing good things just is not his love language. Expressing love to him successfully required acts of service (always having his favorite taco sauce and taco meat ready whenever he craved them), quality time, and physical touch. My sons were quite different: One needed just the right gift, the other quality time.
I appreciate all five love languages but thrive on three. Unfortunately, my living situation precludes receiving them most of the time; indeed, my primary has been long absent. But God’s grace is always sufficient to walk through storms (in this case drought).
Most people love others the way they themselves need to be loved. We offer what we need. Unfortunately, our loved ones often cannot hear and receive love in the same manner we do. The resulting feeling of lack of affection and connection can negatively impact our relationships.
If you are discovering that your regular mode of love is not working with the quarantine situation, may I suggest you consider reexamining your interaction with family and/or friends? A good place to start would be to take the love language test yourself, become educated in its practices, and work on changing the dynamics you live with. https://www.5lovelanguages.com/ offers the test and information on how to inform yourself about the results for you and others. Offering to meet the need for love and affection in a manner someone can identify and receive has the potential to change a relationship positively. Recognizing how best to meet someone else’s need is gratifying for the giver as well as the receiver. Paul points out that love is unselfish in a passage often quoted at weddings, but it applies to all relationships:
I Corinthians 13:4-5 Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. Amplified Bible (AMP) Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation, La Habra, CA 90631. All rights reserved.
May we all find the ways to love others in the manner they need, to demonstrate and pass along God’s perfect love of us.
You must be logged in to post a comment.