Remembering What I’ve Said

I have to listen to my own advice this week. Where I am is so much like being pregnant, especially the first time. I knew then that I was having a baby and I know now that a new life is being birthed for me by God. I sit at my computer today, choosing to remember God’s faithfulness then and agreeing with the scripture that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His character cannot change and He has promised to be a good father to me.

Resting in His promise continues to be a challenge – not knowing what He has planned next can stir anxiety and worry if I allow it. My desire to reason and plan is what needs to die today and every day. It is not my job to plan my life for years to come. I may seek His face to have dreams that agree with His plan. My lifelong habit of making and keeping a schedule and always being early was born out a desire to control what comes next, and that is no longer an option if I want to be the dependent child He wants.

It’s warm enough today to have my windows open and let the spring breezes blow through the house. I need them to blow through my mind too. My thought processes resemble the mockingbird singing outside to attract a mate. He’s going through his entire repertoire, trying to attract the female he longs for. If I let my mind do it, I’ll run through various scenarios, trying to get God to agree with something I can imagine. But I have learned that He would much rather I not try to conduct the orchestra that is my life because my narrow vision limits the boundaries of what He is capable of providing. I’m sure His musical composition is much better than I can write.

So, again today, I choose to keep my thoughts reined in, declaring that God’s best is what I want for myself in order to accomplish the calling on my life – to write for His glory and to be part of a marriage that looks like Jesus and His bride. The world needs more of us to demonstrate His love. I groan over headlines, beseeching Him to come quickly, but not at the expense of some not knowing salvation first. May my life and love be a demonstration that lifts up Jesus and draws many to His mercy.