Lessons from my mother

My mother died May 1. Her funeral was May 7. She was 91 and had been quite ill near the end of her life. I will miss her, especially in the autumn when I can’t call her to talk about our Buckeyes and the latest football win. (We’re both alums of The Ohio State University.) Also, our birthdays are just a week apart, so I’ll celebrate for both of us this year; she graduated, I remain.

I want to pass on to my online friends what I shared at her funeral. Mother taught me many lessons in my lifetime, but three specific lessons I learned as an adult observing her live her life.

The first lesson is about how to deal with people who need your help. This wisdom came in two parts. The first part is that you don’t give advice unless someone asks. This has been especially valuable to me as my grandchildren have come along. I am still learning when to keep silent and when to speak. The second part is that when asked her advice, Mother always gauged whether or not the person was really ready to hear what she had to offer. If not, she said that she’d think about their question. She gave the wisdom she had learned only if she believed it would actually help.

The second lesson is to live life being truly thankful and having the well-known attitude of gratitude. When asked how she was, Mother said “I can’t complain” until near the end of her life when she could admit that she did not feel very well. I heard it only twice before her passing. She was grateful to the God who saved her that she still had breath to speak and that she had people who loved her.

The third lesson Mother taught me is to live a life based on hope. Her hope was in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross that made her part of God’s family. I remember when my parents’ marriage was deteriorating. She went to counseling and determined she needed to become a teacher to match her children’s schedule. She also returned to church and found a community of believers who became her extended family for her entire life. With them and in worship, Mother demonstrated the need in everyone’s life for more than self. It made a difference in my life too; after I accepted Jesus’ sacrifice for me, Mother and I became part of the family of faith too, cementing our relationship in a new realm. She demonstrated this scripture:

Romans 5:5 Such hope [in God’s promises] never disappoints us, because God’s love has been abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Amplified Bible (AMP) Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation

We celebrated Mother’s life at her funeral. My cousin Melissa and many others said what they saw in Mother’s life was love. She truly loved others, her students, her friends and her family. May the same be said of me after my early life ends and eternity begins.