Remember the old commercial “anticipation is keeping me waiting” with the variation of the Carly Simon lyrics? I’ve been thinking about the concept of anticipation lately. Recently a friend had an ice cream treat waiting for her in the freezer. She couldn’t eat it when she found out about it. She loved the idea and anticipated the delight in eating it. Throughout the day, she kept forgetting about the treat and when she remembered again, she enjoyed it in her mind. She anticipated eating her treat several times before actually being able to gleefully consume it. Anticipation.
I recently went to Ohio for a celebration of my mother’s life. It was a family reunion as it had been 10 years since all of her children had been together. A friend at work asked me early in the week if I was excited about going and seeing everyone. I told her that I really wasn’t thinking about it, that I didn’t think that way any more. At the time I thought it was a good thing but God said otherwise.
Some time ago, I chose to stop anticipating good things, He said. I decided not to delight in what was to come because of disappointments in the past, either because other people made different choices or because I got ahead of God’s plan and what I anticipated didn’t happen. I have never done well with disappointment. Previously, I didn’t react to disappointments in a healthy way, usually by using food as self comfort. God has graciously showed me that problem and I actively choose to NOT eat when my emotions are down. Learning to eat only when physically hungry has been a long road for me; I still fail occasionally but it is no longer frequent. Instead I choose to face my emotions and ask God to help me turn what seems negative to good for His use.
So anticipation needs to return to my soul. Delight in what’s to come is part of the joy of life and I need it back. I am not sure how He will replace that gift but I know He is faithful to heal, redeem and restore to better than I had before the restoration.
Is there delight in your soul for the future?